MORE THAN A BREAKFAST GROUP
It all started with Christine, who, newly situated in the personal banking department, asked her boss if she could go with him to his networking group. “No, you can’t. But you should create your own group.”
So, in 1990, Chris pulled together a group of women from varied careers. Brenda, a lawyer. Karen, a chartered accountant. There was a banker, but no baker or candlestick maker. The original purpose of the 12-women group was to use each other’s services and to tell others about them. It has turned into much more.
As Cathline said recently, “I was a single mom, no family in town, running my own business. The mornings with the breakfast group were my only time with adults who would listen, share, and accept me for who I was. It was something I looked forward to.” She also loved the fact that joining the breakfast group didn’t involve taking on extra duties.
Now that we are mostly retired, our conversations have shifted to being grandmothers, and on retirement rather than career, and on travel – mostly to Europe. Best places to stay, favourite foods, attractions not to miss. Did you know French fries are served in a lot of continental European countries because they are popular with the English? I didn’t know that, but I learned it when one of our members returned. Sometimes we talk about the fear of getting older or of not having a career anymore.
One year we dressed in our finery and took tea at The Empress Hotel. Another year, clad with fried eggs adorning the front of our t-shirts, we participated in a breast cancer fundraiser. Like a sisterhood, we have strong bonds, and we help each other out when needed. Sometimes a member will say, “I have a question.” And all thinking caps are applied, and brainstorming takes place. Advice is freely given; no judgments are passed. We simply support each other and cheer each other on.
When Pat Nichol was in her final days, a parade of breakfast group cars made its way slowly down the road in front of her home. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and the drivers honked and some whistled through their open car windows. It was a final tribute to the group’s dear friend. Fifteen minutes after the last car drove past, Pat took her final breath and moved on. Our group is like that: we support each other through joys and sorrows and transitions.
Our breakfast group is different without Pat sitting at the table and being her Courageous and Outrageous self. I will be forever thankful she introduced me to these amazing women.
If you haven’t thought of having such a group, I urge you to pick a few friends and start the tradition. Make your own agenda, like meeting at lunch or supper or sometime in between. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that we need each other.
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Laurie Mueller, M.Ed is retired and living in Victoria with her husband, Helmuth. She recently published The Ultimate Guide on What to Do When Someone You Love Dies, available on Amazon. More about Laurie can be found at www.lauriemconsulting.com or on Facebook.