Dear Goldie:

I am a widower of four years in good health. I have three children and five grandchildren. We have a good relationship and I see them often. The reason I am writing to you is my fear of the future. I have several close friends that I socialize with often, but I'm always fearful that I won't live much longer. I don't understand this because my health is good and my parents lived until their nineties. I'm just not sure what this fear is all about. -W.C.

Dear W.C.:

You don't mention if you have recently suffered the loss of a family member or friend, but this is often a forerunner of such feelings. If this is not the case, it would be wise for you to have a visit to your medical doctor to allay your fears. Perhaps you could make more effort to socialize with your friends or make some new friends. There are many social groups to join such as swimming, bowling or dancing. If this feeling persists, ask your doctor for a referral to a counsellor.

Dear Goldie:

I am a 60-year-old widow with four children, seven grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. The reason I am writing to you is that I have become a permanent babysitter. My family knows that I love them, but it has become convenient for them to say, "Oh, Mom will babysit." I don't want to create a bad relationship, but I need to get my life back. -L.N.

Dear L.N.:

I'm afraid things will not improve in your life unless you face the problem and tell your family what is wrong. Because you have so willingly agreed to babysit, your children think it is all you want from life. Only you can change the situation. Be clear. You have never complained, so they assume you are happy with life as it is. I can assure you they will still love and respect you for being honest. After all, they do love you as a mother and grandmother.

SEPTEMBER 2011 SENIOR LIVING MAGAZINE VANCOUVER ISLAND
SEPTEMBER 2011 SENIOR LIVING MAGAZINE VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND