Ask Goldie - October 2010

By Goldie Carlow

View all articles by this author

Dear Goldie:

My husband passed away three months ago after a long illness. He had suffered so long we both felt relief that he was leaving. While we could accept his death, it seems that some of our friends cannot. They continue to grieve openly and are forever offering condolences.

Can you suggest anything to stop this? -R.G.

Dear R.G.:

I am sorry you are being subjected to this behaviour after the loss of your husband. Your friends probably mean well, but are just not realistic about the situation. Death is never easy but, in your husbands case, they must have been aware of his pain and of your acceptance of the impending loss. Perhaps the easiest way to stop their actions is to speak to your friends in a group explaining that his death was a relief to his suffering and to your constant care.

Sometimes, situations like this have to be discussed openly for full comprehension. I hope this will relieve your problem and allow you to move on.


Dear Goldie:

You will probably think I am a silly old lady fretting about my pet. I wish it were that simple. Several years ago, our children gave us a wonderful dog, a small black and white mixed breed. She has been a great companion and loved her daily walks with us. Unfortunately, my husband passed away last year and both the dog and I miss him terribly. However, we still get out for our walks and keep each other company.

My problem is that I am now selling my house and plan to go into an apartment in town. The dog has been used to a big garden to play in here, and Im not sure if she will be happy being shut in so much in my new home. I am in my 70s, but I am in good health and keep very active. Your advice will be most appreciated.



Dear W.J.:

Well, you are fortunate to have such a good companion. No doubt, you and your dog have missed your husband greatly. However, you are still in good health, so your daily life does not have to change too much when you move. Animals do adjust to apartment living as long as they continue to have exercise. You seem to be active still and can continue daily walks with her. The exercise and fresh air is beneficial to both of you.



This article has been viewed 1675 times.

Post A Comment

Comments that include profanity, personal attacks, or antisocial behavior such as "spamming," "trolling," or any other inappropriate material will be removed from the site. We will take steps to block users who violate any of our "terms of use". You are fully responsible for the content you post. Senior Living takes no responsibility for the views and opinions of members using this discussion area.

Submit Articles

Current Issue

Search For Articles


Subscribe To
The Magazine