Ask Goldie - October 2009

By Goldie Carlow

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Ask Goldie

Dear Goldie:

I need your help. My husband and I retired seven years ago. We are in our late sixties and life has become dull and boring for me. Before our retirement, we had plans to travel and see the world, but now my husband just sits in front of the TV all day and refuses to go anywhere. His only exercise is to the table. I checked with his doctor and his health is fine.

Do you think I could plan my own life from now on, or am I obliged to be the maid?


Dear N.O.:

I am sorry to hear about your disappointment since retiring. It is usually a time greatly anticipated and enjoyed.

You know your husband’s health is okay, so it seems you can only make plans to travel on your own. Perhaps you can find a friend or relative to accompany you. Travel agencies can even arrange sharing to many world destinations and you have an opportunity to meet the person beforehand. Start now to obtain their pamphlets so you can compare their prices and details.

Your husband has chosen how he wants to spend his retirement, so now it is only fair that you make your choices too. It is possible that he will change his mind and decide to accompany you when he hears your plans. In any case, begin as soon as you can to enjoy the years ahead. You have earned the right to plan your future.


Dear Goldie:

I am a widow in my late eighties, a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother to a large family. I have a will in which my children inherit property equally. My concern is how to divide personal items such as jewelry and china, some of which are quite valuable.


Dear W.S.:

You have not stated that you discussed this with your children. I think it would be wise to begin with their choices and then move on to grandchildren and finally your great-grandchildren.

Many times, we worry about such matters by ourselves when open conversation with the people concerned could quickly solve it. Frequently, I’ve heard descendants comment after a parent or grandparent’s death, “If she had only asked me, I could have helped.”

Do not delay. Get your family together and finalize these matters. They can choose what they would like, and all your affairs will be in order. Your mind will be at rest, and you will have a happy memory of your time together.



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