Ask Goldie - January 2011

By Goldie Carlow

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Dear Goldie:

I am a senior and have been for many years. Some time ago, I met a very attractive widow of my age group and we have been wining, dining and theatre going for a few years. She has kindly invited me to her home regularly, and not just for coffee!

A short time ago, her eldest daughter made a surprise visit and found us in bed together. I was therefore dispatched to purgatory by the daughter and asked not to return. Nonetheless, the lady and I wish to renew our friendship and, by the way, neither of us looks at marriage as an option. Perhaps from your experience (I don't mean being found in bed with a man), you may be able to help us find a way to satisfy a family of all women.

Sincerely, R.J.

Dear R.J.:

There seems to be a little confusion about life roles in your letter. From your description of activities, I assume your lady friend is in good health physically and mentally and lives alone. So, why would her daughter be in charge of her mother's decisions? When people become seniors, they do not automatically reverse roles with their children. Independence is their greatest asset in order to continue a good life.

It is time for your friend to take a stand and inform her daughter of her rights. She should remain in charge as long as life and health permits.

By the way, I have never found a decision that satisfies completely a family of all women - or all men!




Dear Goldie:

I have been retired for five years. In my working life, I always dreamed of retirement and the things I would be able to do with all that time on my hands. Somehow, I now have little interest in any of those activities, and time is marching on. I have a loving wife and family.

How can I change these feelings and get on with my life?


Dear W.D.:

You sound quite depressed about your present life situation.

My first suggestion is to make an appointment with your medical doctor to see if you are in good health. If all is well, then you can proceed with plans to change your present lethargy. Five years is too long to waste.

Some of your former dreams may not be practical now, so make a new list and arrange it in order of importance to you. Discuss ideas with your family.

It is common for people to hesitate, as you have, right after retirement. You now need to get into action before you find yourself in a rut. This is a period of new beginnings for you. How exciting!

Best of luck!



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