Dear Goldie:

At one of the Christmas parties I attended, I met a lovely lady and we hit it off immediately. We discovered we both lost our former partners 20 years ago and have many common interests. My children and grandchildren are very close to me, and they feel they should give approval to any friends I associate with. I resent this. I am 80 year sold, of sound mind and body and quite able to make decisions and choices. They are quite negative about my relationship with this new lady. What should I do?
-L.W.

Dear L.W.:

I am sorry to hear you are having family problems. You are in good health, so you need to stand firm if you wish to enjoy life ahead. Your family may well be concerned about your welfare, but you are still in charge of your own lifestyle. If they continue to disapprove, ask your medical doctor to give you a statement regarding your sound mental health. This should convince them. Meanwhile, enjoy your relationship with your new lady friend.

Dear Goldie:

I became a widow two years ago at 65. I have two children and three grandchildren, all living in England. Recently, at church, I met a widower whose life circumstances are similar to mine. We have become close friends but now he wants to marry me. I enjoy his company but want to keep my freedom in caring for myself. Am I being selfish? He has rather poor health with some heart problems. I feel reluctant to get too involved.
-C.N.

Dear C.N.:

I think you are a wise lady. Friendship is wonderful, but marriage is a very different situation with much greater responsibility. You sound doubtful, so my advice is to maintain and enjoy the friendship. Later, when you know more about this gentleman you may decide you want to be more involved. You will know more about his health situation then and will realize what your new role will be.

FEBRUARY 2012 SENIOR LIVING MAGAZINE VANCOUVER ISLAND
FEBRUARY 2012 SENIOR LIVING MAGAZINE VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND