Reflections: Then And Now - Eyeglasses

By Gipp Forster

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I didn't always need or wear glasses. I don't need to now unless, of course, I want to see. When I was a kid, some other kids wore glasses and they went through some harassing times! They were called "four eyes," "specs" and "professor." So very glad I wasn't part of the taunted, I joined the side of the taunters!

I used to think anyone older than me who wore glasses was intelligent. You could always tell the smart ones by their glasses. Everybody knew that! I didn't need my first pair of glasses until I was almost 40. So, I wasn't too bright up 'til then. I certainly improved after getting glasses though. We must think of glasses as an extra pair of eyes. Good eyes!

It would be terrible if we had to get glasses for our glasses. A little while ago, I thought I was going to have to get glasses for my glasses. My vision was getting blurry and hazy and it was difficult to see. I complained to my wife, and she became concerned, too. She took my glasses to examine them and, lo and behold, when I put them on again, I could see clearly. I was elated! "What did you do?" I cried. "This is wonderful! You are a genius, a healer, perhaps even a prophet!" My wife, being a humble person, simply shook her head (almost sadly) and whispered, "I cleaned them, Einstein." Then she quietly walked away without further praise. (She calls me Einstein often, which proves just how much smarter I am since I started wearing glasses.)

When I buy eyeglasses, I have to buy two pairs. Without an extra pair, how am I going to find my first pair when I misplace them? I tried wearing contact lenses, but I am nearsighted in one eye and farsighted in the other. With my contacts, I could see into the distance but I couldn't read anything. So, I had to get a pair of reading glasses. Then, I kept losing a contact, so I had to get another pair of glasses to aid in the search for my lost contact. It all became so confusing that for a while I just walked around with my eyes closed.

A little boy once told me that he really liked wearing glasses, especially at school. When asked why, he said, "Well, the boys don't beat me up and the girls don't try to kiss me." It works when you are an adult, too! I haven't been beaten up in years, and girls never try to kiss me. Even if they wanted to, I doubt they could catch me, now that I have a walker.

Glasses used to make men seem sissified, at least to guys who didn't wear them and who had their girlfriends' names tattooed on their upper arms or chests - but not anymore. Many people wear glasses. Glasses are in. They're stylish! Now, guys with tattoos wear them. As mentioned, I have had numerous pairs of glasses, but I've never had a tattoo. Just like glasses, tattoos are in too! Even the girls have them. I can't imagine how, when eventually they become grandmothers or great-grandmothers, they will respond to their grandkids' or great-grandkids' request to see their tattoo! A sunrise when they first got it will be a sunset on a sea of relaxed skin when they unveil it to the inquisitive eyes of the future. Their grandkids and great-grandkids may need glasses to see it, but I hope they only need one pair.

Now that I think of it, I might get a tattoo so my wife will look at me more as a sailor than a couch potato. I could have a sailboat tattooed on my arm and wear short-sleeved shirts. And when I shake the loose skin on my upper arm, it would look like the sailboat is in a violent storm. It would be impressive - especially if I had my glasses on while I did it. Intelligence and adventure all wrapped up in one package! She'd probably be struck with such admiration, she would be at a loss for words; just like when I gave her that three-way flashlight for her birthday!

At any rate, I am going to get my other pair of glasses and watch a little television. Now, where did I put them?

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