Ask Goldie - March 2009

By Goldie Carlow

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Dear Goldie:

I am troubled by something. Is it possible to change our ways after age 75?

Lately, I have changed my lifestyle by selling my home and moving into a senior care home. After six months, I realize I want to live in an apartment independently. I am in good health and able to cook and shop. I am still an active person. What in the world made me choose a care home? -D.W.


Dear D.W.:

You aren’t the first person to make a wrong decision. It is especially difficult in the later part of life when there are fewer choices. The important thing is that you now realize it, and are willing and able to change.

From what you have shared, you are still in good health, energetic and able to enjoy life.

My advice is to not waste time in making the necessary changes so you can resume an active and independent life. There are a number of terrific senior residential homes these days, and this can be your choice when you are no longer able to care for yourself. However, there is no need to rush the situation.

Independence is a wonderful asset as long as it is safe.

Enjoy your life!


Dear Goldie:

I am turning to you for help in an uncomfortable situation.

A year ago, my wife died of a heart attack. I sold our home and moved into a condo. I am happy in my new location. It is close to buses and stores. One of my neighbours, however, is an annoying old busybody. She assumes I need “looking after.” I am active and independent, and she is driving me crazy! -L.S.


Dear L.S.:

This situation is common. I suspect your “helpful” neighbour is lonely, and assumes you are too.

You need to nip this situation in the bud before she takes over your life. Be kind, but firm. Tell her you are entirely able to run your life, and that you have family who are in touch. Furthermore, you are busy with your own interests and wish to have more privacy to pursue them. Then suggest some community agencies that could use her help.

She may be upset, but you need to remain in charge of your own life.

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